


Changes

by Khylara



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 11:23:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1816819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khylara/pseuds/Khylara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changes happen that neither Munch nor Fin like</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted I don't know when on the Munch/Fin slash YahooGroup. The group itself has been deleted and I'm not sure if this ever got posted to my LJ. If it did, it was never tagged, since i can't find it. All I do know is that this is at least five/six years old, since that's when I last wrote Munch/Fin, and the idea came about from a press release at the time that stated that Fin would be getting a new partner, but Munch would still be around.

“No.” Odafin Tutuola’s voice was firm.

 

Captain Donald Cragen let out a heavy sigh as he surveyed the two detectives sitting on the other side of his desk. He had been afraid of this, which was why he had left it to the last possible moment. “I’m not giving you a choice. He starts Monday, full time.”

 

“I already got a partner.” There was a stubborn set to Fin’s jaw. “Don’t need a new one.”

 

“And John isn’t going anywhere. He’ll still have his desk, still be working cases. But this guy will be going out on calls with you and helping with the legwork.” Cragen turned to the other man in the room. “Didn’t you tell him?”

 

A sheepish look appeared on John Munch’s face. “I was getting around to it.”

 

Fin turned to face his partner. “Getting around to what? What ain’t you telling me?”

 

Munch let out a sigh of his own. “My yearly evals…I didn’t do so hot on a couple of them.”

 

Fin’s dark eyes narrowed. “How bad? And don’t give me no bullshit.”

 

John hesitated. Finally, he said, “Bad enough. The brass wants me to retire. But Cragen talked them into desk duty.” A note of sarcasm entered his voice. “Apparently I’m a valuable resource to the unit in particular and the department as a whole.”

 

Cragen’s eyebrow went up. “I go to bat for you and you give me sarcasm?”

 

A contrite look suddenly appeared on Munch’s face. “Sorry, Cap. But I can’t pretend to be happy about this.”

 

“None of us are. But desk duty was the only thing I could think of to do to keep you with us. And that was only on the condition we bring in someone to help with the legwork.” Cragen turned his attention back to Fin, who had a stunned look on his face. “And from everything I’ve heard, this kid is pretty good. He should fit right in.”

 

_Don’t want him to fit right in,_  Fin thought rebelliously. _John’s my partner. Not some rookie kid._  A part of him was surprised at the results of John’s yearly evaluations; he knew the older man had been worried about them, so the two of them had put in extra time to make sure John passed. And Fin hadn’t begrudged the time; they were both getting older and had passed rookie status too many years ago to count. Neither one of them could afford to relax, not when there were real, live victims depending on them.

 

Fin swallowed hard, thinking fast as he turned toward Cragen. “Cap, we don’t need to bring in somebody else. John and I, we can work on all the stuff he did bad on.” A pleading look appeared on his face. “After shift…weekends…whatever it takes to get him up to speed. We can get it done.”

 

The last word Fin expected to come out of his partner’s mouth was the one word that did. “No.”

 

Fin spun around to glare at the older man. “What you mean no?” he demanded.

 

“I mean no.” John’s voice was quiet, but firm. “They’re right. I know it, and deep down you know it, too.”

 

“No, I don’t know!” Fin shot back. “How can you say something like that?” An angry, hurt look appeared on his face. “You don’t want to work with me no more, be a man and say so. Don’t try pushing me off on someone like I ain’t got no say.” Turning away, Fin headed for the door.

 

John managed to grab him before he got too far. “It isn’t like that.” He glanced at Cragen. “Cap, can you give us a few minutes?”

 

Nodding, Cragen grabbed his jacket. “It’s a little early for lunch, but I’ll go grab some. You’ve got an hour. Finish this before I get back.” He left.

 

The minute the door was closed John tugged on Fin’s hand. “Come here,” he said softly. “Sit down and talk to me.”

 

“Ain’t nothin’ to say,” Fin replied sullenly even as he flopped down into the nearest chair, his head down in a pointedly clear gesture that he was not happy. Not by a longshot. “You made things clear enough.”

 

“No, I don’t think I have.” John stood in front of him as he leaned back against Cragen’s desk, a serious look on his lined face. “And if you were thinking clearly you’d see that the brass is right on this.”

 

Fin looked up, scowling. “Don’t tell me you’re okay with all this, ‘cause I know you ain’t.”

 

“No, I’m not okay with it!” John suddenly yelled. “But being chained to a desk for the rest of my career is a hell of a lot better than you being down in the morgue because I couldn’t watch your back anymore!”

 

Silence as the two men stared at each other. Finally, Fin ran a hand over his face. “So that’s what you’re on about.” He reached out and put his hand over John’s. “Baby, you watch my back just fine. I don’t trust no one else to do it no better.”

 

John shook his head. “Maybe before all this, but that eval was a wake up call.” He ducked his head. “Did you know that half of the shots I took didn’t even hit the target? And none of them were a kill shot. Not a single one.”

 

“We can work on that,” Fin countered, squeezing the older man’s fingers. “Do target practice every day…maybe get you back to the eye doctor to check out your glasses…”

 

“And what about the fact that I can’t keep up when we’re chasing a perp anymore?” Munch asked, his voice still calm, still soft. “Or when that freak on angel dust wrecked his way through the station? He nearly took you out and I couldn’t do a fucking thing.”

 

“John, it took a shitload of taser shots and me swinging a chair upside his head to take that bastard down,” Fin said, trying to soothe. “You can’t blame yourself for that.”

 

“Can’t I?” A bitter note crept into John’s voice. “You’ve been covering for me long enough. Any longer and you know something bad would’ve happened. God knows we’ve been pushing our luck as it is.” He swallowed hard. “I can’t keep you safe anymore, and I promised myself that the moment I couldn’t do that, I’d hang it up.” John’s voice caught in his throat. “So that’s what I’m doing. Hanging it up. Well…partly anyway.”

 

Shaking his head, Fin stood up and took his partner into his arms. “Baby…John…you don’t have to do this,” he whispered, tears in his own dark eyes. “We can fix it.”

 

“No. No fixing it. No covering for me. No more making excuses for the old man.” John met his partner’s eyes with his own unshed tears glistening in the dim light. “I won’t put you at risk anymore, Fin. I can’t. I love you too much. If something happened to you because of me…because I couldn’t do my job…I couldn’t take it.” A lone tear slowly slid down Munch’s lined cheek. “Please…try to understand.”

 

Fin let out a heavy sigh as he reached out to brush the tear away with his thumb. “You know…the hell of it is I can. And if it were me in your shoes I’d do the same damn thing.” He rested his forehead against John’s, a warm feeling going through him when he felt his partner’s arms slowly slide around his wait. John was rarely demonstrative in public; for him to be looking for comfort now…

 

Fin brushed a kiss along John’s temple. “Baby, you sure about this?” he asked, not wanting to ask but needing to all the same. “Once you decide to ride a desk, you can’t go back. Everything will be on record.”

 

“I know,” was the equally quiet reply. “And I’m sure. This is the only way.” There was a pause. “Keeping you safe…so you come home to me…that’s what matters. Not any of this and sure as hell not my damn pride.” The older man forced a smile. “And it’s not like I’m retiring, for God sakes. Someone has to be around to keep you out of trouble,”

 

Fin couldn’t help the snort that escaped him. “Yeah…and who in the hell has been keeping your ass out of the fire all these years?” They shared a look for all of a split second before they both burst out laughing.

 

When they had both finally calmed down, Fin gave John another brush of a kiss. “You okay?” he asked softly, the concern obvious on his face.

 

“Yeah,” John said with a small smile of his own. At Fin’s skeptical look he continued. “No…really. It’s okay. Desk duty is regular hours with not a lot of overtime. We’ll get to spend a little more time together.”

 

Seeing what John was trying to do, Fin played along and made a face. “Yeah…maybe. Gotta whip the rookie into shape first. Lord only knows how long that’s gonna take.”

 

“I did some checking of my own with the academy when he ended up on Cragen’s short list. He’s top of his class…bright, eager to learn, all fired up to do some good. With both of us on him he’ll shape up in no time flat.” Munch forced himself to be enthusiastic about it. “You’ll see. He’ll work out okay.”

 

“Hope so.” Reaching up, Fin ran his fingers over John’s lined cheek. “Ain’t never gonna be as good as you, though.”

 

“Well that goes without saying.”

 

A spurt of laughter escaped Fin. “Long as you don’t go nowhere,” he said, his tone only partially playful. “You keep your ass in that desk in front of me and I guess it’ll work out.”

 

“It will be. They’ll have to drag me out of here.” Munch paused for a moment. “And if it helps any, I don’t like the idea of sharing you, either.”

 

“And you won’t be. Least not for the real important stuff,” Fin said immediately. His heart was aching at the thought of stepping out onto the city streets without John by his side and while he knew the older man was right in his decision, it didn’t stop how much it hurt.

 

_But he’s not leaving, that’s the main thing,_  Fin thought as he pushed that nightmare of a thought away. I _t would’ve killed him to pack up and go. This way, he can still work cases, annoy all of us with his latest conspiracy theory…and he’ll be safe._  He couldn’t help the wave of relief that surged through him at that thought. John would finally be out of harm’s way, and Fin couldn’t help being a little glad.

 

_’Cause it goes both ways,_  he mused as he gazed at his partner, his friend, his lover. _Seeing him down on that table…it would tear me up same as it would him seeing me. I’d end up following him, and no one could stop me._

 

Just then John’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Fin…you are okay with all this, aren’t you?” The older man bit his lips, a worried little frown on his face. “I know we should’ve talked about this…”

 

“But you couldn’t, and I know why,” Fin finished. “Your career, your own way. And I’m as okay as I’m going to be.” He paused to give John a reasurring smile. “We’ll work it out, John. Okay? It’s change. We’ll deal with it best we can. Together.”

 

“Always,” John added, letting himself relax in his partner’s arms. “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.” They sealed the promise with a kiss.

 

 


End file.
